I didn't get the position.

Sadly, I didn't get the position I applied for at the hospital. I really liked the person who interviewed me and I'm sure he just found someone with better qualifications than me. So, after finding out that I didn't get my first pick of spots I consoled myself with pizza and ice cream while making a new plan. Next time I'll play it cool and pretend I'm not super excited. I'm just grateful I found out so fast and can try again.
This morning I applied for the 4 positions the hospital has that I'm even remotely qualified for. I hope I get one! I really want the hospital because it offers the best benefits and will work with my schooling when I go back for the nursing degree. It's also where I worked for most of my life and I want to go home.
If I don't I will be applying to long term care and rehab facilities. I'm sure I would be happy with one of them, but I'm a stubborn little booger. If I don't try I can't succeed, right?
Now the waiting is on and I have cold pizza to munch for lunch!
Wish me luck please!

Bombs away!

And the wait goes on.....

I'm still waiting on State Board for my number and it's driving me crazy. They say I need better fingerprints and they sent the packet on the 3rd. It's the 5th and it should have been here today if they had sent it that day, but it's not. This is after they sat on the unusable prints for a month or so. I really wish I knew what was going on there. I just have to keep being patient though, there's nothing else I can do. I have no power to make it go faster or better. I am at the mercy of the slow bureaucracy. Hopefully it will be in my box tomorrow and I can get it sent back fast.
On the plus side, my school is being really supportive and even tried to get the place I want to work to take me on without my number. It didn't work, but I appreciate the try. It also let me know that they still want me once this is done. It's good to be wanted! I'm also getting a good amount of writing done while I wait. I've been told that what I really want to do is a bad idea, and not very nice, so I'm making do the best I can.
I'm sure this will be over soon and I will once again be a useful member of society. Until then I'm hitting the ice cream!
Have fun!

What my mind feels like.

A rose for Princess

Not as beautiful as she.

The rose bush we planted in memory of Princess opened it's first bloom today. It's hard to believe it has been 21 days since she died. It's a Melody Parfumee and it has a good smell.

We miss her.

Kisses.

My seasonal job is almost over.

Tomorrow is my last day at PetSmart. It makes me sad to leave there and I will miss the people who I got to work with a lot. I will still be shopping there, but the dynamic won't be the same. I will no longer be one of them.
I learned a lot about retail sales and myself in my nearly two months there and I found Rory. That's a huge up point.  I may apply there next October or November if I haven't found something more permanent sooner. I'm very grateful that the manager let me know in advance that my position was ending. My husband says that's rare because most places fear employee retaliation/theft once you know you're out of a job. I like to think it's because she likes and trusts me. Besides, anything I want there I already have, employee discounts rock!
I'm currently searching for a new place to work and I have a peer review coming next week for a job I would really like. If they like me I'm might get it! I would have never had this chance if I wasn't warned in advance. I really hope to get this job, it would suit me great and I have the mad phone skills needed for it. Wish me luck!
Endings are always the hardest, whether in  writing or in life. It really does make me sad to see this very short chapter end, but now it's on to another chapter and adventure!

A New Chapter Begins

I was laid off from Helix House yesterday. The timing really sucks and the worst part is that on Monday's conference call everything was normal. It was a real, go get them team, pep talk to push toward the end of the year. Then yesterday afternoon it was "Sorry, we are restructuring and changing things up. All the 1099 employees are gone." As a severance they will be paying us regularly through December. That's nice of them.

I have to admit, I'm pissed about it. I had a feeling something was going to change soon, but it still stunned me when it happened. It was a slap in the face. It's nothing personal, just business; but in reality it is personal. It affects me and all the others in the company very personally.

I don't blame my immediate supervisor. It's not his fault, he was just following orders and I know it hurt him to do it. He was the best boss I could ever hope for and I wish him and the one remaining Tucson employee the best.

The company is just doing what it thinks is best for itself by seriously downsizing, but could their timing suck any harder? They let go of all of Albuquerque, most of Phoenix, and all agents in Tucson. "Happy Holidays! We have to let you go because we are going in a new direction now." Heaven forbid we should be invited along!

 It was a fun job and I met some really great people who I will miss. I made friends that will hopefully last me forever. Sadly, now the family there is gone. I'm worried about my clients and former coworkers. I was asked not to call my clients until after the holiday weekend. That way Helix House can contact them first. I will be calling them on Monday though. I owe them that. 

What's funny is that I just got a part time job at PetSmart to cover the health insurance we signed up for. Now I need another second job for the same reason. At least PetSmart is fun, I've done 2 shifts so far and I love it. All the cute animals and I get to help take care of them! The people there are great and really nice. I'm super excited about it, but now I need to find a full time job. I hope I can find one fast and that I can keep my part time one as well. It's funny how life happens sometimes.
Wish me luck!

I'm thankful I have my family, my friends, and for getting a new experience. I'd never been laid off before.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and that we all eat well!

Have fun!

Goodbye My Beautiful Casey

My favorite rat Casey died this morning. She was 2 years and 9 months old. She was a wonderful little friend and always greeted me with kisses. 

When I wrote in the bedroom late at night while my husband was out of town she would beg to come out. She was my most sociable rat. Her and Princess even got along. She even loved the dogs and would pull Barons ears until he walked away. Whatever your species she would cuddle with you. 

Once she snuck out of the cage and I didn't notice. I had a client over for a cut and was running around trying to get ready. 

As I was cutting his hair I felt a tugging on my pants. I looked down and there she was climbing me like a tree. My client saw her and had to pet her, she climbed up his arm and started grooming him. She loved to play with hair and would spend forever combing her hands threw it. After a few minutes I had to take her home, much to both of their disappointment. A month later he got a pair of rats for himself and I give him tips on their care. 

Every one who met her loved her and she loved them. She didn't care who you where as long as you petted her you were a friend. 

She is survived by 6 daughters and 3 sons. I miss her already. 

My Fun New Chore. (Not For The Sqeamish)

I haven't post lately because there's a lot going on. The worst is that Zelda, the cat I inherited form my mom has developed an ulcers one three legs and under her tail due an allergic reaction to a new food. I thought expensive food was supposed to be good for them.
They're not bad yet but there's a chance it can get worse so I get to deal with it. Did I mention she only recently started letting me pet her with out hitting me? That's a thing of the past now. She sees me and vacates the room fast. It's like when she first moved in.
The process itself sucks for both of us. I have to hold her tightly and wash/abraded the area with an antiseptic solution then smear a cream on it. I'm supposed to bandage the wounds, but she almost broke her own leg trying to remove them so I just have to do it more often.
All this one handed because the other is holding her still/having its own skin removed by her. Not fun at all and I get to do it three times a day. Yay!  I wish I could wear welding gloves, but they make me grip her too tight and I don't want to hurt her. Neoprene gloves aren't much protection. At least it will be over in 6-8 weeks when she's fully healed up. I really hope she heals up!
The worst part though is Princess, my personal cat. She yells and screams at me in concert with Zelda and has even slapped at me to make me stop. She's as traumatized as us and won't let me pet her for a while afterward.
It'll probably be another year and a half before she tolerates me again. She is healing though so that's a good thing. The only other option isn't worth thinking about. She's an old cat, but I can vouch for the fight still in her and I'm collecting the scars to prove it.

Joe Weider Has Passed at 93

He was a mentor to millions and a nice man to boot. My thoughts are with his family.

My First Bike Ride in Over A Year

It's hard to believe it's been over a year since I last rode Lucy or any bike. I had even sold my stationary one to try to save my salon. Good thing I'd been going for walks.
I was cleaning up the storage and found poor Lucy neglected. She was covered in dust and shrouded in cobwebs. Her tires were flat and she was a shadow of herself.

Can you see the web?

Lots of dust!

It took two days to clean her up and get her functional again but it was worth it. She shines like the star she is.

All clean and ready!

I took her out to see how she handled this morning and it was great. Only a few things need tweaking. I was only going to go for a mile, but ended up going a mile and a half.

For the first quarter I didn't think my knee would take it. It felt tight and painful, as though the tendons would break. Then suddenly it relaxed and felt better than it has in a long time.

We went slow at an average speed of 8 mph, but it felt like flying and I was grinning like an idiot. Every time we hit a bump her bell chimed in joy and I would smile harder.

I didn't want to go home, but my butt was starting to hurt and the rear brake was squealing a bit.

Today I'm going to make a few adjustments and tomorrow I'm going to do it again! I can't wait!

Nothing much going on here

Sorry I haven't written, there hasn't been anything going on. I'm still searching for someone to take over my studio so I can stop paying rent. Until then it's still a heavy weight on me. I haven't made any Etsy sales yet, but I'm sure I will soon. I do have a custom order to complete though. A client wants a hematite and garnet y necklace. I'm looking forward to that, in my head it looks amazing. My writing has been a bit stalled lately. I feel so pressured from everything else that the blank page is actually kind of soothing and I find myself staring at it in a strange sort of relief. I kind of just stare at the white and feel like I'm floating. It's not normal, but I think my brain needs the rest. The story is still clamoring to get out though so I need to get on with it.
Got to go to Concert Under the Stars on Saturday and that was great. A lady sat next to us with her dogs and the sheltie kept snuggling up to me. It was nice to stare up at the stars with the music washing over me and the furry dog demanding to be petted. Z spent most of the time talking to his friend D. She's nice enough, but I kind of wish I had gone alone. I can't wait until next year when it happens again. It had been a long time since I just watched the sky.
This week I only have 2 clients scheduled so I'll be hitting the parking lot to go fishing. I really hate fishing. It feels a bit like begging or soliciting. Maybe I should wear something a bit more revealing to get more in the mood. That would really bring the people in! Just kidding, I'll just hook them with my big green umbrella and drag them back to my lair. At least I run a catch and release program, they just look better for it. Sorry, I really want seafood right now.
This Sunday Z has some models coming in to shoot. It was going to be to promote my salon, but he still wants to do it. It will be interesting to see how it goes. I've never worked with models before, I get to style their hair. Excited about that.
Life is chugging along and looking up. I just need to work on my perception of it is all.

It's all over but the searching

The meeting with my landlord went better than expected. All I have to do is find someone else to rent my studio and I'll be free. He's even helping by offering the other stylists in the building 2 weeks free to anyone who finds someone to take place. Also I can pay off any rent I accrue by cleaning the building in my off hours. He's being way more kind than I thought he would. I feel really lucky.
So far every client I've told is willing to follow me anywhere I go so I'm really grateful there too. Now I just have to find someone. I hope to do that by the 29th so I can move out on the 30th.

My Etsy shop now has 25 items in it and I'm sure I'll get a sale soon. I'm really enjoying the jewelry making and can't wait to get more things up. I'm pacing myself so I don't owe them a lot before I even sell any thing.

On my walk this morning 2 hawks were screaming after a dove and they were loud! It happened so fast I didn't get a pic but the dove flew past me and the hawks just gave up. They all moved so fast it was over before I could react. It was really neat to see wild hawks that close, but I'm glad the dove got away. I did get a good pic of a spider though. They don't move as fast.

I just want it done already!

Today hasn't been good. If I could I would just take my stick and walk away from it all. A half hour in the morning isn't enough and I always end up back where I started.
My only client for the day didn't show so now I'm short $50 for the rent this week and I'll have to sell more personal things to make it up.
My landlord for the salon will meet me on Monday to discuss me getting out of my lease and I'm worried he's going to be difficult about it. I really hope he won't be. I have nothing left to sell but my car and my desk. Those will barely bring enough for one more month and I'm not doing it.
I've learned a lot from this experience,. I'm just done. It wasn't all bad I did meet a lot of interesting people.
Wish me luck on Monday. It will all work out somehow.

Today would have been Moms birthday.

Today would have been her 61st birthday if she was still alive. I miss her and still want to punch her at the same time. Instead I'm using the baubles and beads she left behind to make my rent and trying not to let my anger cause me to do something bad.
She was a complicated woman who would give a friend all her money and then ask her kids to pay her bills. She wanted so badly to make and design jewelry; and she was really good at it; but she never had the follow through to make a name for herself. She had more important things to buy.
She always tried to make you accept gifts but never wanted to just be with you even when she cried she was lonely and no one loved her. I loved my mom even if I didn't always like her.
She had a rebellious streak and she lived to pull one over on anyone she could. That is probably what killed her.
You could never trust her words, but you could always trust her heart. She was a kind, violent soul. She usually had the best intentions, at least when it came to best for her but she never hurt anyone she thought needed help. She would open her home to druggies and homeless then cry because they stole from her.
She was finally responding to therapy for her throat cancer and when I saw her two days before she died she was jabbering on about how good her eggs and toast had been for breakfast and how she really loved the egg salad sandwich she had for lunch but wished she could have chips with it. She even looked better than I'd seen her for months. When I left the final words were "I love you, see you on Easter."
She didn't make it. On April 6, 2012 at 7:55pm her heart stopped. Twelve minutes before that I had given the order to pull the plug. She had been non responsive for over an hour after she had been found at the nursing home with no pulse.
She had managed to flip me, cancer, my siblings, and her brother off in one fell swoop.
Mom didn't die of cancer. She overdosed on meth. She went out thumbing her nose at the world, but I don't think she meant to die. She just wanted to have fun.
I miss her, but at least I have her cat. Zelda hates me. Mom's probably laughing at that right now as she eats more eggs. She really liked eggs.
Like I said Mom was complicated.

A Sad Fact of Life Today.

I saw a story today on yahoo about a woman named Angela Prattis may be fined $600 a day next year if she continues to feed underprivileged children. Here are a couple of articles I've found about it:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/woman-could-fined-600-giving-children-free-lunches-192644564.html?_esi=1

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/08/14/philadelphia-woman-faces-600-day-fine-for-feeding-needy-neighborhood-kids/?cmpid=cmty_twitter_fn

 I know she's not paying for the food herself, but she's still getting it out there where it's needed and she's donating her personal time to do this. I personally feel that she should be given money to help with her goal and not charged, but maybe I'm crazy in my belief that we should all look out for each other.
  What kind of good deeds can we do to get threatened for I wonder?